to my people

 by Sara Mahmood on Saturday, August 22, 2009 at 8:17pm

this is serious and important

time is rushing past me, sometimes it feels like everything will be left incomplete, abruptly, when life will betray me. i don't know if that will be what i want, i don't know if that will be good for me or not. i don't know anything.
i find myself ignoring everything including myself for my work. this voluntary solitary confinement from the small social circle of mine is not deliberate, its just a matter of misjudged, misplaced and confused preferences that only allows me to see through the slits between my fingers that envelop my face in a desperate attempt to seal the world away.
the reason for this note arises from an incident that happened today.. details of which i will not bore u with, but it did make me rethink life, my time here. i just want to take a minute out for all those who mean or have meant something to me.
i have always expected that those who really want keep in touch should do so without expectations of tit for tat, and the same i shall maintain, so i don't expect any of u to get back, i don't expect any of u to keep in touch nor do i expect a call or a message, however i do intend for whoever is tagged to know that they have either at some point in time, or still do have a profound impact on my life. and i for all those who know me, know that no matter what i say to contradict this, the truth remains.

love u all

sara

too precious.. :)

precious note from my last profile by Sara Mahmood on Monday, May 4, 2009 at 3:30am

few thoughts
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Monday, February 16, 2009 at 2:34pm
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose some people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you


1) i wish i could rewind all the precious moments of my life


2) i wish i had spent more time with my grandfather.


3) i hope some day i'll find the one who will make me think .. this is soo right


4) there is nothing more peaceful than the black morning and the creeping pink of the sky


5) Sumaiya nothing will ever replace our long conversations to dawn on my roof and ur swing, walks to gelato affair, our stupid dancing..""baby when ur gone"" and ""sand in my shoes"". country club, and the beaches.


6) egg fights and riding the camel the other way round is a must try


7) greatest inspiration: methodology of zen


8) i detest girlyness... hypocrisy... malice... arrogance... ignorance...chummy-ness... fake display of love...un-decisiveness... inconsideration and self absorption... i cannot stand male chauvinism


9) i hate asking for help or showing that i need any .... i don't regret any decisions i have ever made despite what i may say.


10) i dream to get married on a beautiful white sand beach


11) i dream to travel the world and if i must i will save every penny i earn.. but i someday i will walk the pyramids, the great barrier reef of Australia, the Hagia Sophia, see mount fuji and maybe fire woodkilns up in the mountains.... hear their slumber... see natures glory in the Galapagos Islands..south africa.. sail the Yangtze River through gorges.... and visit the ancient porcelain cities of jingdezen .. walk the great wall again...... see the Louvre and Notre Dame of paris ... then morocco and the hassan mosque.. built over the sea...and brazil... maybe also chance to see the carnival .. (mardi gars.. i think)
... see the saudi deserts, camel races, travel with the gypsies, into the amazon with explorers... witness the work of masters hung in the Vatican and see the the Roman coliseum..survive a Russian winter..see the mountains of Tibet out of pictures.. feel the grandeur and peace of buddhist temples of Thailand.. see old italy.. horse ride through Spanish vineyards,and some day witness the Aurora borealis.. uffffffffffff... god.. my mind is racing...... and too much more...


12) the most goose bumpy feeling.. when u travel up the northern mountains of Pakistan... towards swat and hunza... and when your bus takes a sharp bend around the corner.. n when the entire landscape swishes to another spectacular view... and the sound of the gushing rivers.


13) i love my country.. there are faults and problems everywhere.... but learning to cope up and making a difference is what matters.... not whining.. i love my country... no matter what anyone says and there is no where else id rather be... and karachi is the best.


14) the best way to know if u can stand some is to travel with them... and im thankful to ma'am zainab for teaching me to look beyond life's problems although im still not too good at doing that.. but still.. . im so grateful that you were with us on that trip... i love you.


15) i love yousuf bashir's expression of God...he taught me a lot without saying any of it... i saw the beauty of the barren.. self expression... inward thought.. life... sorry cant explain


16) i pray that someday i will know more about makeup than ali... mirchi


17) most people do not like my bluntness... but i refuse to change. my friends know who i am and that is all i care about.


18) animals are my weakness... especially my cats


19) my sister is my second mother... and a very annoying version.. and i will be the happiest person on the planet when she gets married and goes away.... but i don't think anyone will ever fill that void nor do i think anyone will ever miss her the way i will even though i say i won't..


20) my time means: feet soaks in hot water at the end of the day... long baths... james blunt.. coldplay.. u2.. sarah McLachlan... aerosmith.. guns n roses.. audioslve, metallica.. abida perveen.. mehdi hasan...allaren faqir... swimming.. beach-ing .saunas.. long quiet rides... researching vacation options .. useless.. but still :D


21) ali azmat roCks :D


22) i dream of going for my masters to china or japan with my own money someday


23) i dream of carving out my identy... i dream of seeing my parents look at me with THAT look.. that says.. we knew.. u'd get there!


24) Death gotta be easy, 'cause life is hard....It'll leave you physically,mentally, and emotionally scarred
(50 cent)


25) 1973- by james blunt.. is my song... it makes me dream of sitting on the rooftop of a building...looking at the night city below a beautiful star lit horizon above... thinking of this day.. n how life passed me by.. sitting there with my soul mate.. old n wrinkled... thinking about our life...

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